Regarding Forgiving Others

By: Dr. Houria Abdelrehem

Let me share with you one of the greatest injuries that was done to Abu Bakr, it was not done by the blade of a sword in any battle, but by the whispers of tongues in Medinah itself when the honor of his daughter was attacked.

Abu Bakr (ra) found out that one of the people slandering Aisha (ra) during the incident of ifk was a relative of his, one who he was financially supporting.

All he did was cut off the monetary aid, as opposed to taking active revenge like many of us. He swore that he wouldn’t assist that man ever again.

Allah revealed,

“and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (Al-Noor v. 22)

Allah teaches us a lesson. First of all, this is not a transaction between Abu Bakr and his relative, but between Abu Bakr and Allah.

Allah is asking us if we would not like to be forgiven by Him. He is giving us an opportunity here: by forgiving whoever has wronged us, we can have His Forgiveness.

When Abu Bakr heard this ayah, he not only resumed financial support, but increased it. He was doing what he did for Allah, not the man. The paradigm shift here is that forgiveness is not between us and other people but between us and Allah. The revolutionary shift is that it is not a horizontal transaction, not a transaction between you the creation, it’s a vertical transaction between you and the Creator.

So when ppl say they don’t say they don’t deserve my forgiveness, well remember you’re not forgiving them for them! You’re forgiving them for Him! It changes your perspective, it shifts your focus of why you forgive and why you love, because you want His Forgiveness and you want His Love.